Being a Fat Girl-PYHO

I have always been a fat girl. Chubby, overweight, big boned. Fat. When I was in basic training I was the smallest I've ever been. But I was still a fat girl. Like it just wouldn't sink in that I was skinny.  And it didn't last long anyway.

I wasn't raised in a healthy way. My dad would joke when he made dinner about how his doctor said he needed more cholesterol. I wasn't ever encouraged to go outside. I read a lot and watched a lot of TV. But then my dad would make piggy noises at me when I went to the fridge. Needless to say I have body and self esteem issues. 

But now I am not just a fat girl, but a fat mom. I have three little girls. And I never ever want them to feel bad about who they are. Even if who they are is chubby. I can't possibly do that until I accept me. A fat mom. 

I don't plan on giving up and just eating chips and cheese dip all day. I still want my girls to eat healthy and move their little bodies the way they were meant to. But I want them to know that food has no morality. It isn't "good" or "bad" and shouldn't be associated with guilt. Ever. A well balanced meal with vegetables and protein is important and healthy. But ice cream is health food too, mental health food. Sometimes it's okay to eat a box of french fries. Just savor them and move on.  I want them to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Not to starve or binge or gorge themselves. Then beat themselves up afterward.

I know that I can't fight against the media or the popular opinion. But I will do my best to fight it at home and to fight it by being the example they see. I'm not saying all my issues will go away over night. But I will fake it until I make it and hopefully teach my girls a new way to look at things. So they know healthy is not the same as skinny and vica versa.

What body issues do you struggle with?