I Don't Care About Amy Winehouse. No. No. No.

I took a break from all media last week. So that meant no TV or computer. None the less some things filtered through. My husband told me that Amy Winehouse had died. Well, that's not particularly surprising, to be honest. What was more surprising was that some one had murdered 98 people in Norway, the majority of them children. 

My husband was very frustrated by people acting like, because Amy Winehouse died that she was some sort of amazing legend and that her death was the same kind of tragedy as what happened in Norway. 

It took all I had not to get on Facebook and start ranting. I refrained, and I'm glad I did.  I didn't need to get sucked into the negativity and idiocy that Facebook tends to bring out in people. 

But now I am free to rant. 

Look, it is sad when anyone dies. I am sad for Winehouse's family and friends. I am mostly sad for them about what she put them through while she was alive.  They say she was clean when she died, but her death was still caused by drugs and alcohol. Years of it taking it's toll on her body, finally. And that sucks. I agree. 

But it does not make her some sort of legend all of a sudden. And it is not even close to the same as children being slaughtered at summer camp. Not. Even. Close. 

When you do drugs or drink to access, you are making a choice. You know that you will die if you do meth, or heroin. You decide to kill yourself that way. The only decision the Norwegians made was to go to summer camp. To sleep in a tent and hang out with other people who have the same beliefs as you. To have a good time. They did not choose to die.Some maniac made that decision for them. He fooled them, dressed as a police officer, gestured them closer and then shot them.

98 people murdered. I can not sit here and think that a woman who was  gradually killing herself is more important then that. Because she's not. My heart is for Norway. I spare grief and prayers for Winehouse's family, but the majority of them are better served across the ocean. 

Do you have trouble caring or do you believe every life is the same?

I'm Heeeeerrrrreeee

My Away Message

Today begins my week long digital sabbatical, my media fast, my hermitude. I am actually getting a little nervous because what if I am insanely bored? I am not good with bored. What if I am alone with my own head and I really don't like what it has to say? Or worse, I discover that I, myself am boring.

I am going to try to not worry. I have good intentions and I want them to manifest. Here's a few of them.

 Practice meditating. Hopefully I can quiet my mind.

Oh so much of this. I am going to wear out my library card.

Maybe a little of this. 

Possibly a little of that.

 And, oh my god, this.

But most importantly.

Lots and lots of time spent with my monsters. 

This post brought to you by the awesome post scheduler on blogger. I'm not cheating. I promise.

Rhythm-RemembeRED

The counter is clear, the clutter removed instantly stills my mind. I methodically set out each ingredient I will need. There's not many, I love that about bread. Water, salt, flour and yeast. You can add anything you want, adjusting the ratios, but those four ingredients must be included. Without the yeast, your bread won't rise and without the salt your bread will rise too much. The flour and water form the net that the yeast will fill and expand. 

I mix the ingredients, first with a dough hook, then with my hands. I push the dough into the counter with my heel, kneading it together, folding it into itself and back out again. I drop it on the table because I like the solid whomp it makes as it lands. My mind doesn't wander, I just stop thinking, Folding, rolling, kneading, until I am able to see that the dough has come together, its skin pulled smooth. I pull off a tiny nub to see if I can create a window out of the dough without it shredding. If it shreds in my hands I go back to the counter. Folding, rolling, kneading. Whomp. A billow of flour hits the air. I try again. I pull off another little nub and pull it. Finally there is a small translucent window. This means the dough has formed it's net and will be strong enough to hold the yeast in and not deflate. 

I tuck the ends in, the skin tightening and straining, to form a small ball.  I cover it and let the yeast do it's work. I punch it down, another satisfying whomp and puff of flour. I let it rise again and pull it out of its bowl. The dough is a different texture, its skin loose and puffy. I imagine I will look something like this in my old age. I cut the dough and measure it out into equal pieces. I loosely shape it and let them rest. Because we all need a little rest.

The process is worn out with love, like a letter many times read, the paper thin, falling apart at every crease. It soothes me and I don't need instructions or even have to think. I get lost in the dance and the waiting. I shape the pieces of dough. Sometimes I shape it in long stick like baguettes, to slather with butter and dip in hot chocolate. Or I round them, my hands curving around each piece whirling it across the table. For rolls or hamburger buns. Today I tuck the ends under again and roll it into a batard, I have to roll it and tuck at the same time, so it doesn't crack along the edges. I let it rise once more for flavor.

The baking process is fascinating too, the different temperatures that yeast thrives and dies, the caramelization, why your dough is full of holes or too dense to eat. But that is not a part of me. My work is done, my meditation is over. Now I wait. Common wisdom says not to cut the bread right away or it will turn doughy. But I cannot help myself. I have to cut at least one slice, spread with butter and savor it. One bite at a time.

I am a baker. I can make you a cake and decorate it all fancy. I can even make macaroons in different colors, filled with buttercream. But my true love, where my heart always returns, is baking. That is my true art.

What is your favorite thing to cook?

Ideas

Who has a great idea?

Food For Thought-A Few Links and A Few Pictures.

This week has been good. Got to see my husband's footage on national TV. Or at least some of it, silly Obama trying to run the country.  I cried hysterically while watching the very last Harry Potter. Yeah I'm a giant nerd like that. And I am super excited for my self-imposed 5 days of hermitude. How was your week?

A reminder that marriage is not a romance movie.  It's better.

A baby recreating famous movie scenes. Adorable!
Aunt Bertha is helping people find assistance when they need it. Food, health etc.
Go get your own red dress, right now.

Fuck yeah! Cinnamon buns unite!

If I was this hot, I would not worry about my weight.

It's so true!

Have you guys found anything awesome?

So Fucking Excited About This!

 

I have been really struggling with media lately. Namely, how uninterested I am in it. I still love to blog and read blogs. But you guys...I am teetering on the edge of some serious burnout. I don't even know what I want to watch on TV anymore. 

So when Alexandra from Unicorns For Socialists suggested a media fast, I got so excited I thought about starting it right then and there. But I waited. And have gotten more and more disillusioned as the days go by. I'm not trying to make this a whiny post about how I hate blogging. That is not it at all, believe me. It's just that my eyeballs hurt. And my earballs a little bit. And maybe even my brain. 

The Great Hermitude is going to go from July 20-25th. Join us why don't you?

My personal brand of hermitness will include many trips to the library, many runs around the yard chasing my girls and maybe some cleaning if I get really bored. The only media I will allow is music. But sometimes I will enjoy the sound of silence.

I seriously cannot fucking wait! 

If you guys are not inclined to join me, I can totally understand that. But I hope you indulge me in my little 5 days of living in a cave. And when I come back into the world of media, I will write and tell you how it was. And then we'll all get back to business as usual. How does that sound?

I hope you guys join me, even just for one day, or one hour, or five minutes. You deserve to be present in the real world. And not feel the need to tweet about it. 

How long can you go with out media in your life?

We All Scream for Ice Cream.

I just found out it is National Ice Cream month. So obviously it is your NATIONAL DUTY to eat ice cream. Obviously. My husband actually makes ice cream for a living at a local company, Amy's. It's good stuff, it's considered premium because it's practically all butter fat. 

Amy's is known for its yummy fattening ice cream, but also for its scoops, the people serving up your ice cream. It's a little like marble slab, but WAY BETTER. They don't use marble, but you can make your own ice cream. You pick a flavor and then you pick a "crushin'" or two. And the scoops crush it in. But lest you think that's all...they will also throw your ice cream in the air and catch it. Behind their back? Under one leg? Catch it three times in a row? You bethca. They've even been known to throw it across the street for you to catch.  

The reason why I bring all this up is because tomorrow, on the View, Amy herself will be there talking about ice cream. (Yes, Austinites there is an actually Amy, the cow's name is Lola) But more importantly she will show footage of the annual trick olympics. 

Guess who filmed all the footage that is now going to be on national TV? That's right, my husband. It's his national debut and I'd like you guys to be there. So cancel all your plans around 11/10 central. And try really hard to sit through four ladies yelling at each other and you'll get to see my husbands fantastic handiwork. 

I'm just really proud of him and I hope you guys get to see it too. And I hope you honor your country by celebrating National Ice Cream Month.

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Mine is vanilla, with M&M's and chocolate sprinkles.

First I Rocked The Baby Bump, Now I'm Just Rocking the Baby

There was such an overwhelming response to Shell's Rockin' the Baby Bump link up, and the baby fever that followed could only be made worse by one thing. A Rockin' the Baby link up. I love pictures of babies. I will follow your blog solely because you have a freaking adorable baby.  The idea is to post some baby pictures, your babies, yours, your husbands, whatever. Then link up over at Shell's Things I Can't Say. And then check out every one's baby pictures. Fan those baby fever flames damn it. Just don't do anything crazy like "forget" to take your birth control on date night. Here are my little monsters! And then some bonus ones of me and Robert. 

This is my all time favorite photo of Peanut (taken by her mom)

Rivers had chicken pox at like 8 months. They don't even itch at that age, she had no idea. But doesn't she look pathetic?

My little glow worm, Bliss. She had to spend a week in the NICU because her sugar was so low and she had jaundice. (taken by a friend) 

Me, being grumpy. What else is new? I like how I seem to be playing in the world's most unsafe yard. 

My beautiful husband. He won a Cutest Baby Award with this photo. You see where my girls get their good genes from?

Go to Shell's and link up so we can see your beautiful babies. I want to squish them and eat their toes. Virtually, of course.

Food For Thought-The lots of YouTube Edition

Went to the library today and came out with tons of books. Also we stumbled on story time so Pea was excited.  And Bliss just yelled at invisible things and insisted on walking around with her new cute shoes. Bliss is so vain!  I have been so tired of the internet this week. I have had a serious case of ennui. Totally thought that was pronounced en-yew. But it's on-wee. You are welcome. So here's the fruits of my interenting.

I love the Muppet's and I need this shirt! Who's excited about the movie?

Free incredibly adorable backgrounds and drawings for your blog.

Really great tips on doing your own customization for your blog.

An interesting look on how social media has taken over our lives.

I want this doll! All of her dolls are adorable.

Again with the kick ass zombie shirts!

The facebook song. Sad but true.

So fucking excited about the week of hermitude

Apparently killjoys want to take my diet dr. pepper away from me, because it's bad for me too.

 nom.

I love this song. What a great message.

MCat wrote about courage and how her granddaughter has spades of it. Don't believe me? Her mom passed away this year, her dad's far away in Marine boot camp and she is living in a new house and had to make new friends, but she's still a brave and happy little girl.

I am going to have to say fuck this shit. I get a panic attack just watching it.

Have you guys seen, read or heard anything good this week?

I Don't Freaking Know!

I have a moleskine that I use to keep blogging ideas in. It's small and pink and I love it. I highly recommend getting something like it. A blogging calender can do wonders for you and your readers. But please don't be quite as vague as I am. 

"Wonder" 

That was a blogging idea I had six months ago. I wonder what the fuck I meant by that!? 

Get yourself a planner or moleskine and fill it up. Just try and make sure you can understand what you meant. If I can't understand me, how can I expect others too?

Have you ever confused the heck out of yourself?

An Open Letter to Facebook Haters-PYHO

click to embiggen.

Dear Haters On Facebook,

It has come to my attention that you do not appreciate when people (such as myself) put their baby or their furbaby pictures up as their profile pictures. You have described it as "creepy" and "annoying." I am going to have to disagree with you. Sometimes I change my picture to my husband's picture just to confuse our mutual friends and because I have a strange sense of humor. I'll give you that. That could be described as "annoying."

But I am not backing down on the kidlet pictures. I have heard you complain that "It looks like all I have are dogs and babies as facebook friends."  Maybe you are one of those people who have 82,000 friends you don't actually know. But to me if you are facebook friends with me, you must be aware that I am not a skateboarding bulldog or the cutest five year old ever. If you are not aware, let me assure you that I am not. I am just a proud mommy. Also dogs don't have opposable thumbs and babies can't have a facebook until their twelve. So that's just silly.  

I admit I do change my profile picture a lot, and it's usually to one of my kids. I have a gazillion pictures of my children, compared to 3 of me. I am usually the one behind the camera. Do you know why I change my profile picture to my kids? Because they are fucking adorable! And you should just bow down to the extreme adorableness and move on.

Or if that's not possible, if you still feel the need to hate and write long articles on stupid parents and how awesomely hipster hipsterly you are, then I have another question for you. Why the fuck are you on my friends list anyway?

Sincerely ,

a Facebook Parent.

What do you think of people with kids/animal profile pictures?

Thank God It's TV-RemembeRED

I don't particularly care for sitcoms. I will watch Law and Order or Firefly all day. But I don't really get sitcoms. I take that back. I love Friends. It doesn't matter if I've seen an episode 82 times it always makes me

smile and get the warm and fuzzies. I don't get most sitcoms. Shows like Everybody loves Raymond, it seems like they hate each other.  They are mean and manipulative to each other and I'm supposed to think this is funny? I just don't get it. 

There was a time when I couldn't wait for prime time TV. When I was little my Daddy and I would watch all the shows together. We don't have the best relationship with each other. We are both extreme introverts who hate talking on the phone. But when I was little I use to love asking him questions. He seemed to know everything. I would rack my brain to think of a question to ask him, just so I could hear him talk. "Daddy, how does the lawnmower work?" And he would delve into a lesson about how the engine needs the whip to start and combustion and the blades. And the most of time we had to talk was while we watched TV together. I wasn't allowed to watch TV except with him. He would tease me about thinking Macguyver was cute, which I would deny adamantly. (I totally did, though.) I remember falling asleep and finding myself in bed because Daddy had carried me there and tucked me in. I knew the theme song to all of ABC's shows. Step By Step, Full House, Family Matters. When I hear the songs now I think of sitting on our grey nubby love seat next to my Daddy. He always smelled like smoke, grease and orange-off.  It's impossible not to think of him when I see these shows now. Seriously, I just listened to them all and what a rush of nostalgia. Did the same dude sing all of them? Like he had a contract with ABC or something.

Eventually I got older and got my own TV. I was obsessed with My So Called Life and MTV. He was content to watch Fox News, probably grateful for not having to play 20 questions all night. Our relationship started to deteriorate as I became a teenager. I stopped asking him questions and started avoiding him. He started asking the questions and was not at all happy with my answers, or lack there of. 

I'd like to say we are better now that I'm an adult. But we're not. We pretend better that's all. Sometimes I wish I could go back where my Daddy was my all time hero who had an answer for everything. I would curl up on the couch, my feet tucked underneath me, mesmerized by the canned laughs and flickering glow, while my Daddy sat next to me. I promise I'll try to be quiet and not ask too many questions.

I guess the best I can do is make sure my kids don't stop asking questions. This may seem harsh, but I just want my girls and I to have a better relationship then my Dad and I. I don't want them to wish the things that I do.

What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Why?

Happy (Illegal) Fireworks Day

Eat lots of BBQ and potato salad and try to remember the people who have sacrificed for our freedom. 

Speaking of sacrifices. TLC has a show premiering 7/11 at 10/9C called "Surprise Homecoming" It's deployed people coming home and surprising their families. The commercial alone has me in tears. So now, on Monday nights you will find me crying hysterical happy tears for an hour. I think it'll be a good outlet. Also it has Billy Ray Cyrus, bringing back the mullet. What more could you ask for?

What are you doing to celebrate?

Food For Thought-The Passionate Rant Edition

Hiya! How's your week been? Ours has been better then last week. We went to the fountains to let the girls get wet and there was a creepy dude playing a lute and trying to talk to kids. When I walked by with Bliss he said "Beeeebbbeeee ACH! Beeeebeeee ACH! ACH! *gurgle noise*" I walked faster. Pea also discovered that she likes to stand right over the fountain. I guess it feels good?  The hubs and I have started the Paleo diet. It's supposed to be the best kind for diabetics. So we will see. I did terrible the first day, and just gave into some cake today. But the rest of the day will be better! Work is actually fantastic right now, except for a few passive aggressive bad apples. But we are ignoring them. Ugh, the cake gave me a headache. Instant karma. Onto the links!

I want this shirt! 

I hate when my husband's female friends do this. 

Who told you that you were naked? Alexandra is amazing. 

100 ways for your family to make a difference. Some really great ideas. 

The only manifesto you need.

What is the most unsexy thing your man owns? My new favorite word. Manpris.

I also want this shirt.

This video is amazing. She is so right about everything and passionate and I really like her mouth.

I love Amber Demure, she's a local artist and usually her tumblr is hilarious. But she wrote this, The Shrink and The Perp. Not only was it very brave and struck a cord with me. But the writing is intense and amazing. Read it, then check out her comics to cheer yourself up.

I love men in beards.

Celebrating being diabetic with cake balls.

What are you guys reading? Or what have you written that I should read?

I Think Fatshion Is Doing Me A Disservice

I love fatshionistas. My google reader is full of them. They have given me the confidence to own my body. I'm still on a mission to get healthier and for me that includes losing weight. But I know that I don't need to be stick thin, or wear giant shapeless clothes to hide in. 

The only complaint I have is now that I am trying to wear what I like, even if it's god forbid sleeveless, I'm not sure I'm pulling it off. I may be suffering from a false sense of fatshionista. 

For example, I think I am rocking it, looking curvy and sexy. Looking like this. 

But really I am not rocking anything. And I look frumpy and uncomfortable. Something like this. 

Sometimes I think I have reverse anorexia. I see myself in the mirror as skinnier then I actually am. I look at pictures and I try to reconcile what I saw before going out with what I really look like. "I'm not actually that big am I?" I know I should love my body the way it is. I am not a skinny girl and probably never will be. I think I would look like a bobble head doll if I lost too much weight.  I know that. But I would like to really see myself. How am I supposed to have confidence and accept my body, if I'm not truly seeing what it looks like? 

I know that I lack confidence. But I want to have confidence in what's really there, instead of what my head thinks is there. I read somewhere that a lot of people only look at themselves from the neck up. They gloss over their "problem" areas. Next time I look in the mirror I am going to really look. I am going to accept what's there and not berate myself.  It may take a couple of tries, but I am going to tackle this. I have three little girls. And while I would like to pretend our society doesn't judge people on the way they look, we all know that's a bunch of bullshit. But I would like to arm them with self-confidence before the world starts tearing them down. And I can't do that if I don't have any. They have a fat mommy. But I want them to know that I am totally cool with it. So I guess I better work on that. 

How have you struggled with body image?

Sexy Man In an Eyepatch

We've been talking about some serious things here on Sweetbutterbliss. So I thought since it was Friday that I would throw you guys a bone. A lady bone, if you will.

The husband and I watched The Thing today, we watched Escape From New York a couple of weeks ago, and Overboard is one of my all time favorite movies. Can you see where this is going? Oh yeah, Kurt Russell. 

That's right, he rocked out the mini mullet like a boss.

Also super hot in an eyepatch. Call him Snake. 

But my personal favorite, has to be bearded with long hair.

You guys are so welcome! I have to admit he has gotten a little craggy in his old age, but he still owned Death Proof. And has one of the best hollywood relationships without ever getting married. Take that Brangelina.

I'm just saying, if I was single and was stuck in the Antartic, I wouldn't mind him to keep me warm. He can bowl me Overboard with his Thing. Eh eh eh? No. Okay fine.

Who do you have a crush on right now?