Sometimes I get so tired of hearing "Nothing." I know some thing's wrong. When someone acts strange or irritated I can tell. Especially if they are someone I know very well. I ask over and over again what is wrong. And they insist nothing and act like I am crazy for asking. Sometimes we even have fights over "nothing" being wrong.
"Maybe there really isn't anything wrong and you are over reacting." You say.
That may be the case a few times. But there have been enough times where they insisted that they were fine until we were both blue in the face, only to find out later (usually during an argument) that something was in fact wrong. Why didn't you tell me when I asked!?
It drives me crazy for two reasons. First of all I feel insulted. I know them well enough to know when something is wrong. I can tell by their tight lipped silence, the drop of their shoulders, audible sighs and unaccustomed silence. You think I don't know you very well? Well I do!
Secondly I worry that if I just stop asking they will think I don't care. Maybe that's just a girl thing. I want someone to ask me what's wrong and when they don't I get my feelings hurt even further. So I feel like, as a loved one, it is my job to find out what's wrong. How can I fix it if you don't tell me what the problem is?
I have started something new. I ask what's wrong. After the first nothing, I calmly point out why I am asking. I say "Well, by your slamming of the door and muttering to yourself while doing the dishes it makes me feel like something might be wrong. If you want we can talk about it, but if you don't then let me know when you are ready." And I drop it. Or I try too. It doesn't always work because like I said, I feel like I have to know what's wrong right then and there. So I don't always follow my own advice.
As you may have guessed I am talking about my husband. Who 99% of the time is phenomenal and makes me incredibly happy. I just thought we needed a little disclaimer. And as another disclaimer, sometimes there really is nothing wrong and I needle him about what's wrong until I have created something wrong. Sometimes.
What do you need to pour your hear out about today?