I don't have any viking blood or Native American blood. I have mostly German blood and I seem to have inherited the worst traits from it. Weight gain comes easily, I have big hips and pasty skin. I don't seem to be able to hold my beer at all though. (Yes, I know that these are stereotypes) I haven't inherited any warrior blood. Maybe my ancient ancestors were fierce Germanic warrior woman, but it must have thinned out down the line, because any semblance has deserted me recently.
I am the kind of person who doesn't want to offend anyone, I will desperately smile and please and thank you the rudest waiters. I have been known to try and make someones day who has called me incredibly hateful things just because I know they are sad. This may sound like I'm nice, but really it's more desperation to make sure people like me. Whether they deserve my friendship and time, or not.
Whenever you are angry or grumpy I will automatically assume it's something I did. Or that you don't like me. How could you? I am so lame! I always assume I am in trouble at work even though I didn't do anything wrong. It gives me a stomach ache until I find out one way or the other.
One of my favorite books is White Oleander. It's the story of Astrid, who due to her mom's poor choices ends up in foster care. The only truly good thing her mother told her was to be strong because they are vikings. They are warrior women.
Sometimes when I want to curl up and take the blows I feel like I deserve I remind myself that I am also a warrior woman. Even when it's hard to believe. It may not be directly from my heritage. But I am a strong woman. I come from a long line of Valkyries, Aztec skeleton goddesses, warrior princesses and queens, woman who fought in men's clothes and became generals, frontierswoman, Japanese onna bugeisha, pirate queens. The list is endless.
When I remind myself that I too am a warrior. My spine unbends, my mind becomes clear and focused. I can handle anything you can throw at me. I have created life and raised it up. Do not fuck with me. I will open my mouth and I will not need to yell because I will be heard. My girls will know that they are not just princesses ala Disney but they are warrior princesses. They will learn it from me. Their warrior mama.
What helps you remember that you are amazing when the world is beating you down?