An Impossible Decision

a three gun salute

I know that I've told you guys that my niece and two nephews live with us. And how much trouble we've had with the oldest boy. Today I'd like to give you a little back story into why they live with us. The oldest one has lived with my in laws off and on since he was born. When they moved to Austin to share a mortgage with Robert, their mom dropped him and his little brother off saying she just need to figure some stuff out but she'd be back soon for them. This was 8 years ago. Then she got pregnant with Ducky, my niece, and dropped her off, not even a year old. Again, saying she'd be back soon. Again, that was 8 years ago. Grandma eventually took her to court to get child support. Which she paid every once in a while. She didn't call her kids and visited maybe once a year. Christopher, the middle one, use to be terrified of her. He had been abused by his Dad and she did nothing to stop it.  So that's where we were. She was a sometimes figure who showed up occasionally. Talking about how she went to Disney World and Paris, but didn't have any money to help with shoes for the kids, or groceries.  Even when Grandma was dying, their mom refused to take them even just for a summer so Grandpa could take care of Grandma without distraction.

The night Grandma died, the first thing their mom said was "Now I don't have to pay child support." Yet she had no intention of taking her kids. She was expecting her 70 year old father to take care of them still, but without child support or Grandma's income. We have tried to make it work. We have helped Grandpa pay his bills and taken over a lot of the duties of raising them. Grandpa has a heart condition, emphysema and high blood pressure.  He cannot raise three children. Physical, mentally or financially. He's not allowed to work. He lives off of social security and disability. We can't afford to raise them and our kids either. I truly wish we could. But we can't. I feel selfish. It may sound awful but one reason is I don't want my kids to suffer because we are taking care of three more kids. Also we would end up losing the house, we can't juggle a mortgage and more kids. I feel like I am just giving up on them if we send them to their moms. To be honest the teenager can go whenever, but the two little ones have so much potential, they are family and we love them. But we can't provide for them.  And they really need their mom in their lives.

What would you do in this situation?