Anger is a secondary emotion

This is something that's said a lot in the world of therapy. Usually you're angry because you're hurt or scared. 

So next time you get angry, stop and think and maybe just say what's really wrong. 

And next time someone you love is angry instead of being quick to retaliate. Stop and ask them "What's actually wrong?"

I know its a hard thing to do in the moment, but try it. It can do wonders for your communications with other people.

Follow Blindly

n

(Peanut graduating from Kndergarten last year)

I got an award! I love award posts because its an awesome way to tell other people about your own bloggy obsessions. And to find new blogs.

I got it from Chyme. She always has really  beautiful pictures to make you smile.

The only rule is that you have to pass it on to twelve bloggers.

I have way more than twelve bloggers I want you to read and follow. So I am going to go down my reader and pick the first twelve I want you to read. So go and give them bloggity love.

1....Megan Rebekah Blogs and Writes...

She is a writer, but that's not all she writes about, she used to be a child abuse investigator and they're a lot of stories that pull at your heartstrings.

2. 3 Sisters, 365.

3 sisters running one blog

3. 5 Minutes Just For me

Recipes, Songs, pretty much anything you can think of. She made Anzac biscuits for Anzac day and posted the recipe and pictures. How cool is that?

4. A Diary Of Lovely

Beautiful pictures

5. a tree called life

great writing, and her about me is lines from a Van Morrison song, how can you not like that?

6. A Walk In My Shoes

A writing blog from a Mommy, with an interesting theme

7. A Walk Through My Little World

A mommy blog, but not just about her kids.

8. After "I Do."

Newlywed who has questionable taste in music...LFO...really? Music taste aside, great blog

9. Chronically Vintage Blog

Great pictures, recipes and writing

10. Dare to be Domestic

She had me crying at work with some of her heartfelt posts

11. Diary of a Vintage Girl

Fleur De Guerre is a vintage model and its fun to live vicariously through her.

12. Fashion Layne 

Beautiful pictures and the blog that got me started on this terrible obsession.

Interview tomorrow, went and bought some dress pants. Oh the devil that is three way mirrors.

A little cream and sugar for your tea

Today my daughter turns three months

This week I find out if I have a new job

In a few months my other daughter will be four years old

This year will blow last year out of the water (it already has)

This life will be spent with my soulmate, full of love and laughter

Here's some pretties to inspire your day. Have a fantastic week.

 t

I smell Gelfling,,,

I mentioned in the last post that my four year old has turned into scary monster child. 

She's been doing this weird growly thing and it reminds me of Fizzgigg from the Dark Crystal

Right? It's uncanny. 

I think the solution is to pay more attention to her. I don't get to see her much while working nights and trying to get sleep. And the only guaranteed way for her to get attention is to act like a brat. So hubby and I have decided to make it a point to give her some more one on one time. And hopefully curb the crazy!

I had an interview for one position and should find out next week. And have another interview on Tuesday. Mon-Fri. 9-5. Need I say more, 

Thank you for all your support and good vibes. I'll let you know if they worked. And if it doesn't then I shall smite you and blame it on you. So make sure you work very hard at sending out those good vibes. No slacking! 

Twisty little heart

Are you ever just in shock that you're a parent? Today I had a holy shit moment while looking at Miss Bliss. This is a small person who I am in charge of...that I helped make! Holy shit. 

I really love being a parent. I feel like I have lots of dreams, but my biggest and most important is to make sure my girls have a happy life and are equipped to deal with life in the big bad world. And hopefully not screw them up too much.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I want to shake the shit out of them. It doesn't make you a bad parent if you think these things, it makes you a good parent that you don't act on them. Pea has transformed into monster brat. And I find myself asking "who are you?" multiple times a day.

(this picture has always bugged me, because, if you leave paint cans and children alone together, its really your own damn fault if the living room looks like this)

Sometimes they make me hysterical. Bliss is laughing every once in a while. She's a really solemn baby, but it cracks me up to no end when she laughs. Seriously if you are having a bad day, search YouTube for Baby's Laughing. It will cheer you right up. I cannot wait until Bliss is running around with her baby pot belly, that is the cutest thing ever!

And every parent has had the moment when you don't know whether to shake them or laugh hysterically (or sob uncontrollably) 

And sometimes, they just break your heart. Because they are so small and fragile. And all you want to do is chew on their little toes and cuddle with them. You are in charge of this little thing, and it loves you unconditionally. 

Sorry I just really miss my babies today. Stupid work.

All that's left is ashes

I am burnt out. I don't have a hard job. I really don't see the kids much. Every once in a night one will decide to run away or flip out. They have their reasons even if we don't understand. Just accept that they are in pain and don't know how to express themselves. Except by acting out.  But most nights it's about four hours of actual work and then blogging, facebooking and catching up on all the bacon in my email. (Bacon: not spam, stuff that you do want but don't necessarily read immediately)

Nonetheless I am burnt out. I do a good job. I'm not saying this to toot my horn, but I try very hard to do what I am supposed to do. But it seems like there's always something. Someone says I did this wrong. I fix it. Then they find something else to complain about. Sometimes I feel persecuted, and paranoid. I've told my husband that I'm just going to go into work and beat them to the punch. Just greet them with "So what did I do wrong last night?"  I say this jokingly, but honestly it hurts. I truly feel like there are people here who don't like me, and I don;t know why. I have been nothing but nice to everyone here. Believe me I have been known to be a bitch. But I am also a professional. I mean I've been back to work for three weeks and all this negative feedback has been in my face immediately. Jesus, just give me a minute.

I am also burnt out on just working nights in general. I'm tired of being tired, irritable and not seeing my family. Or when I do see them I'm tired and irritable. I love the kids here and usually I enjoy my job. So I have applied for two daytime openings, they are only hiring internally so hopefully this gives me a leg up.

So just wish me luck, or send good vibes or whatever. The deadline to apply is today by 5pm, so I should hear about an interview by Monday. Hopefully. Okay enough bitching and moaning.

Have a supercalafragilous weekend!

Tuesday is the New Sunday

We had a fantastic Tuesday. Tuesday's are our new Sundays. Its the only day the Hubby and I have a day off together. Sadly hubby was feeling puny. So he doped himself up on allergy meds.

We've been talking about selling my car. Because we don't use it. Hubby carts me around mostly. (I have tickets I haven't paid yet....shhhh...I'm an outlaw) But it needed to be cleaned and I thought a new battery. So we haven't put a For Sale sign on it or anything. But randomly someone stopped by, was able to get the battery going and bought it. So we have extra money now. We were behind because of my unpaid maternity leave.

So we went out to eat at South Congress Cafe, our favoritest place to eat ever. If you ever visit, go there and eat. We also got me a couple of pairs of pants that actually fit me now. I got some really cute wide legs jeans.

And we stopped and got cupcakes at SugarMama's Bakeshop. They were fantastic. The Marilyn Monroe, is just vanilla cupcake with vanilla frosting. But the vanilla frosting is heavenly. The owner was there with her husband and there two year old. So Sweet Pea had an impromptu play date. We started talking to the owner and she was really great. When we left she even hooked us up with about 20.00 worth of cupcakes! So again, if you're in Austin, go there. Gorge yourself.

Hubs bought some Blu-Ray and we rented some too, so we have a lot of movies to watch. We will find the time eventually.

It was just nice to have a day where we could just go do something without worrying about paying bills. I am a little sad about my car. It was the only thing in my name. So now I own absolutely nothing. But hubby promised that if we sell my car, in a year or two I can get a scooter. So I have something to look forward to.

For Ethel Mae Potter

Sorry to mislead you. ;) But here's your girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. I don't have any brown paper packages tied up with string though.  (This song is going to be in my head all day now)

(I know this doesn't have a blue sash, but had to show off that amazing flounce)

pictures from wehearit

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

I love to cook in general, but baking is where I shine. This is my first ever shaped cake, so excuse the cracks in the fondant. I feel a little guilty because I went to school but don't use it. Someday though..

I really enjoy knitting. One of my healthy coping skills. I make things and don't know what to do with them. I'm still new at it but I really enjoy it.

I really enjoy doing laundry. Another healthy and productive coping skill

Sunday mornings are the best ever. Sitting at the kitchen with hubby and breakfast is something I will always cherish. Then spending the rest of the day on the couch watching CNN and getting mad about politics together

Reading. I am a world class reader. I got in trouble for it in school, and sometimes I still do. My husband gets very frustrated that when I'm really in a book, I don't hear a word he says.
My favorite books are the kind, where, the writing is so good that you don't want to stop reading it. You want to know what happens, but your a little sad when the book is over.

I got an award! This means I am awesome. Do not argue with the Rule of the Blog award. I am awesome. Just accept it.


I got it from Chronically Vintage who is pretty awesome herself. She has a great vintage blog with fabulous recipes, Etsy finds and my favorite is her Saturday Snapshots. Every Saturday she puts up vintage photographs of regular people and muses on what might have been going on or how they felt at that exact moment captured in time.

The rules are to name 5 things you love to do. See above. And then name 10 blogs you want to pass it on too. I may not have 10 friends but I will try to scrounge them up. Nobody likes me, its because I'm too awesome.
So these aren't all friends per se but bloggers that I so want to be friends with. Tried not to do any repeats from the last award. (See how awesome I am)

Writerland

The Stroller Ballet

Antsy Pants

Audrey Allure

Under Lock and Key

Fiction Groupie

Woolgatherings

Dirtywhirl

Unkown Mami

Parenting WhoesWhoas and Wahs

Please go check them out and love them as I do. Otherwise known as "read them instead of doing actual things that need to get done, like dishes."
Its my Friday. Have to finish filing and wake girls up for school. Have a great week.
Awesome, awesomeness, awesomosity.

My flashlight is running out of batteries

Isn't this picture fantastic. I want to be zipped up in a zipper with my hubby like this. Especially today. Had a bad start to work. Apparently no matter what I do, I still suck. So why keep trying? Oh because I need the job, silly me.

My whinyness is not the point of my blog. I was reading a post on getting followers by Speaking from the Crib. I'm actually pretty happy with my loyal followers, I know that not all of them actually read it and only follow me because I follow them. But for the 5 or 6 that read and post I'm eternally grateful. Because I really talk about nothing. Like I'm doing now. My posts are erratic and don't seem to have a unifying theme. I was thinking I might just need a theme. Like I follow a lot of authors, who blog about writing the great American novel. And I follow a lot of vintage ladies and of course lots of parenting blogs. I guess my theme is just me...it's different because no one else is me. No one can say they have my exact life and hopefully someone will find the bits and blurbs from my life interesting. So without further ado...an introduction to my theme I am almost thirty and live in Austin Texas. I have a fantastic husband who is my other half and I try really hard not to take for granted. He makes a living slinging cream at a local ice cream store. If you live here you can probably guess which one. He's also an award winning film maker. I have Peanut who is actually my stepdaughter but I don't like to think of her like that. It sounds like she's a lesser daughter somehow, so henceforth she will be only referred to as one of my own. She's 7 and has had a really hard year. Sometimes she deals with it okay and sometimes she doesn't. We're working through it. I have Sweet Pea, who is a princess. I mean this in the most negative and positive way. She is a brat and it is all our fault. We're focusing on potty training and attitude adjustment right now. But she's also hilarious and way too smart for us. Then there's Bliss. Our newest addition. She laughed for the first time this week and she sounded just like Pea did. It makes me laugh so hard when she does. She's working on getting fatter and figuring out what those flailing things attached to her can do. I work nights at a residential treatment center. I have a different day every single day because of the girls here. They are all fantastic and frustrating. My husband got a house and shared the mortgage with his mother...then his dad...then his nephew...then his other nephew and his niece. We all live together. Mostly duplex style. But our paths cross and its not always pretty but for the most part, all we do is support each other. oh and we have a cat. So out of all the hot mess of crazy, there's got to be something that interests you. Even if it sometimes seems erratic.

A Guide to Managing Poop and Tears on the Road

Whether you have kids or not you have been faced with this situation before. The gas station bathroom. Do I hold it or do I hover? But those with kids know this is an especially daunting task. My seven and three year old sadly lack the height, much less thigh strength to hover. So do I hold them over the toilet and hopefully aim right? And since they don't have toilet paper, I introduce the concept of drip dry. Oh but they have soap! But it's a bar and it's gray and has an unknown gritty substance on it. And don't forget if the 3 month old has a stinky. They don't have toilet paper, why would you think they'd have changing tables. I could change her on the car seat, while my husband corals the other two....or the bathroom floor?

Road trips are hard! And imagine if one of you gets hurt in an unfamiliar town? What then!

Uhhh...Bye Bye Baby that's what then damn it!

click on the owl to go visit them

Its a website (and IPhone app.) that "makes traveling a breeze." Its the brainchild of two former classmates of mine. I had to throw that in there because it makes me "cool by association." Like in Can't Buy Me Love. Don't hold that against them though. They have done a fantastic job. Its a place you can go to find clean bathrooms, whether it has a changing table, even if it has one in the men's restroom. If the airport your three hour layover is at, has a breastfeeding room. And whether or not it has a chair. You can look up Urgent Care or Hospitals in the area your in. Hopefully you won't need that service though.
They have a great blog, which offers advice, funny anecdotes, and great giveaways. The best thing to me is that you can offer feedback on places in your home town, like if a restaurant is kid-friendly, or so not kid friendly. Its technically for parents, but really everyone needs to know where a clean bathroom is when they're traveling! They also twitter and Facebook. So please go visit them and support some great woman doing their thing!
Speaking of Facebook! They have a contest to help launch their site. They're looking for a couple of cover girls for their website and to show off they're seriously cute shirts and onesies. I've entered my girls in the 0-2 and 2-7 categories. All you have to do is go here to become a fan on Facebook and then click on the pictures below and in the comments write your vote in. Thank you for supporting me in my dreams to become a scary pageant mom!

Only 7 luftballoons

I was reading some old posts of Lovely Violet (go read her now, she does a lot of helpful make-up reviews and even has some home made remedies) and she had done a getting to know you survey. So I stole it from her, shortened it and added some peek-tures.

Where would you visit if you had the chance?

I am aware it doesn't exist, but I still want to go. Re-reading the series right now, from my dog eared, yellowing, water logged copies my husband gave me.

What is your favorite time of day?

Dusk. It just holds promise of new days and savoring the ends of good days. And why not throw in a crap ton of balloons in there while your at it?

Do you have any pets?

Yes. a very very old black cat named Midnight. (I know, we thought long and hard about that one, believe me) He is on his last legs and constantly has snot on his face. Gross. But we love him anyway.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

A writer. I had dreams of living an ink spattered life writing unbelievably clever and insightful things. Look I'm living the dream!

What is your fondest childhood memory?

The beach. We have a house on a private island and I miss the sound of waves and the feel of hot sand. I love the residual heat your body seems to hold late into the night and the taste of salt water on your mouth.

What is your favorite fast food?

Home slice...mmmm....

What is your favorite color?

red. and I really like balloons too.

So that's it ladies and germs. Have a fantastic weekend.

Grody Punctuation

Isn't that cute. All sunshine and rainbows. Ahhhhh......

Just to share too much information. I got the 5 year Mirena yesterday. It was super easy and my insurance covered it. So no babies for 5 years..or at least a 99.9% guarantee. My husband just looks at me and I get knocked up, so hopefully this can combat his super-powers.

After a while I may not even have a period. I asked how I knew if I was pregnant then and my ob said "Take a pregnancy test." I take this to mean periodically? (eh get it periodically..period..eh. whew, these are gems people!)

The hippie in me is slightly freaked out by not having one at all. Its a natural process, shouldn't I just let my body do what its supposed to? Ah but then why get birth control, technically my body's made to have babies. Boy howdy is it. I got me some child bearin' hips, even before the child bearin'. My husband kindly says I'm curvy and he likes it. Actually I like it too. One of the few body parts I don't have any complaints about.

You know I have never said "boy howdy" out loud in my life. Why would I write it in my blog, like that's how I talk? Any suggestions?

Of course the just regular old woman in me, is super glad not to have one. My hubby and I are considering having another one. (I want a boy already) but not until the new one is older...say 5 years from now. And to be prepared for a baby. Planning a baby and being ready for it? Who even does that? What a novel idea. But having another "surprise" (that's what we call accidents in our house) would just be irresponsible at this point. So we've taken the adult route and protected our assets. IfyaknowhatImean.

I say "ifyaknowwhatImean" all the time in my real life. Said just like that, all run together, with a suggestive eyebrow raise. I can't raise just one eyebrow. I always think I am, looking all sardonic and cool, when all I'm doing is raising both eyebrows and looking scared.

If your offended by my post then.....you're dumb. You should go grow up, or go back to the top of the page and look at the cute little children's drawing instead.

What is wrong with you?

So spring is mostly here. But of course as you've probably heard from any Texan, "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it'll change" Different variations like "wait a day, an hour, a week." exist of course, but you get the idea. Hey did you hear that we're going to secede from the union. Uhhh yeah. Don't get me wrong I love being a Texan, born and bred. Living in other states made me even more proud. Living in other states and working at a summer camp in New Jersey cured me of saying "ya'll" 11 years olds chorusing "Say ya'll again." can get pretty damn old after a while. But the south will not rise again contrary to popular (and governor's) opinion.

Wow that was a random stream of consciousness, so not what I meant to write about. Just meant to tell you about my epiphany. That's right I had me a genuine light bulb moment. So as I have mentioned (whined about) I work nights. I get home and squeeze in sleep, when the girls are either occupied with movies or asleep as well. So I finally get the 3 year old and 2 month old napping at the same time. This deserves a moment of silence, it happens rarely. I pass out on my pillow amidst stuffed animals, books, binkies and wipes. I get woken up about 20 minutes later to the house vibrating. We don't live in an earthquake zone and it wasn't a hurricane so I was confused. I wipe the drool of my chin with the back of my hand, as I slowly realize that it is someone listening to music in their driveway. They are listening to Screw, a type of music popular in the mid-90's. Not only did they wake me up, but they're listening to terrible music! Seriously our windows were vibrating.

I try to ignore it. No dice. I think about calling the police to file a noise complaint. I am so going to be that old lady. Do not throw your balls in my yard. Why didn't I just immediately go ask them to turn it down? Good question. These are the very same neighbors who rear-ended our friends car parked next to our house and then parked their car backwards into their driveway. Then tried to pretend like they had no clue why her bumper was on the ground and their blue truck had white paint on it. The police were called that time and they fessed up. So not real good relations with these people.

On a side note, the old man who lived there before use to hang out on his front patio in his tightie whities. And his dog died in our yard. His white dog, named Cracker. We have had interesting neighbors.

Back to my point. I finally go over there because I can't take it. They don't say a word to me. I ask them very politely to at least turn down the bass. They turn it down and stare at me. I said thank you like 8 times, and all they did was stare at me. At least they turned it down. I of course agonized for the rest of the day if I had been rude. Because I am neurotic.

It made me realize that I should just ask. I tend to suffer through and keep my mouth shut on a lot of things. But I asked and got what I wanted, so why not try it more often. It can't hurt right?

Anyway have a good egg finding day. So excited about Sweet Pea hunting eggs this year, its her first year to really get the whole concept.

I'm veklempt.

Look I got an award! Its my very first one. I love awards like this one where you have to pass it on. I like discovering new blogs that way. (I will never get caught up, seriously.)

Don't get me wrong, I get that the awards are sometimes cheesy and sometimes self-serving, but I don't care! I got a huge grin on my face when I read the comment and called my husband to tell him. He made polite noises about it but in his head was thinking I was a huge nerd. But again, I don't care!

I got this one from Riysa. Thank you. Go check her out. The award is pretty obvious. The Sweet Blog award is for blogs that you think are sweet and want to read everyday. I don't know about me being sweet, in fact, I know a number of people who will disagree. Including people who love me.

So here are my 7 blogs to pass it on too. A lot of the blogs that I love to read do not accept awards or when they do they don't pass it on. But who cares, I want others to read them so they'll just have to suck it up. (see, I am sooo sweet)

1. The Adventures of Fred and Ethel

I love her blogs, she doesn't accept awards but she deserves them.

2. Speaking from the Crib
I actually have no idea if she accepts awards or not, guess we'll find out. She is hilarious, she's a mom but the situations she finds herself in are funny to everyone. She also has a podcast.

3. Lisa Freemont Pages
A vintage hair and make-up maven. The reason why I can cut my own bangs and put on liquid liner.

4. Aaymee. Watchoo gonna do-o?
A blog about a girl trying to acclimate to living back in the United States after years in Germany. Working on her self-improvement through blogging and self-deprecating humor

5. Carrying a Cat by the Tail
He has about 80 kids, and they are all alive and only a little worse for the wear. He's perspective is refreshing and hilarious.

6. Pennycones
How can I not like a blog about someone who is overseas, that loves Austin, TX! She's even visiting it right this second.

7. DirtyWhirl
He doesn't post very often but when he does they are insightful and extremely well written.

Look at me, I'm molting!

That's right, another giveaway! You know that I only post these to support the other bloggers.



Not because I selfishly want these fantastic prizes for myself! No sir, only from the goodness of my heart.

This giveaway is from ...it's simple love.... They are handmade Peruvian earrings. You have the option of the spotted & green feather earrings or the white earrings. The white earrings come in black, pink and hot pink as well! Oh, decisions! For you of course, not me because this is out of the goodness of my own heart, remember. (ahhhh yeah right)

The contest ends April 4, and she will announce the winners on the 5th. Her birthday! So go
visit her blog, go here to find the rules to enter her contest, and if nothing else stop by to wish her a Happy Birthday.

Hope everyone has a good Easter, (Bunny egg day!)